Jeff Patterson (disclaimer)

noun. See also: El Jefe

1: A pungent lichen native to the northeast.

2: A worthless, self-indulgent, and reprehensible person.

Related Words: Curmudgeon, Atheist, Libertarian, Knave, Rogue, Idiot

By some fortuitous circumstance I was born on September 1, 1962, the day the White House announced that the world population had exceeded three billion people, so I figure that was me.

I've been writing and doodling a long time. I did my share of "fanfic" back in the 70s and early 80s before getting stories published in such obscure, short-lived, low-paying and generally unread periodicals as Hardwired Hinterland, Alternities, and Dark Cosm. I also did a moderate amount of small press work (of debatable quality) for the illustrious Brian Kirk's Moot Comics line, including "Illegal Aliens from Hell" "Dangernauts" and "Dr. Pain."

I work in TV. I did production for about eight years and have been in broadcasting since 1989. TV is not for sane people. Most people in the industry wander aimlessly muttering to themselves. I have staved off this particular quirk, but feel its icy hands on my shoulder.

There are only four things in life that matter: thinking, laughing, eating and sex. Everything else is irrelevant. Everything. That includes religion, sports, two-party politics, pop culture, and most traditional  institutions. All useless. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something you don't need. Anyone who actually puts credence in the need for such social detritus sanctions mediocrity and invalidates themself as a rational being. They are the enemy. Feel free to taunt and belittle them, loudly if possible.

That being said, there are many passions, pasttimes and diversions that are clearly worth pursuing and swishing around one's brainspace for the sake of recreation and enlightenment.

I read. Mostly science fiction. Second to philosophy, science fiction has been the most inspiring wellspont of inventiveness in human history. Few literary works outside the genre have captured the full impact, beauty, and scope of the human experience. At least for me.

I read comics, graphic novels, sequential art, whatever you wish to call it. You should too. It is a kinetic medium, infinitely rewarding to those who partake of it.

I listen to music: progressive, industrial, power pop, goth, jazz, classical, polka, punk, zydeco, techno, lounge, swing, klezmer, ambient, metal, just about anything but country or blues.

Awful stuff, the blues, just awful.

Other things that get my heart going include a good game of billiards, modern architecture, Objectivism, warplane nose art, Japanese monsters, transhumanism, action figures, and redheads.

My favorite poem is Eros Turannos by Edward A. Robinson

I cook. I'm told I'm rather good at it.

I need to get more sleep and eat more fruit.

I live with a candle-burning misanthrope.

The rest of my time is divided between tilting at windmills, shooting arrows against the lightning, and drinking.

      

J.